Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do. http://tfl.nu/muw0
  Replies (16) Good night (3280) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships. http://tfl.nu/unsu
  Replies (36) Good night (1027) Bad night (5453)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  smell my finger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): smell my finger. http://tfl.nu/i0ta
  Replies (80) Good night (1689) Bad night (5114)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn
  Replies (19) Good night (1390) Bad night (6281)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3756) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): we should become lesbians. not together. just in general. http://tfl.nu/a6ds
  Replies (15) Good night (6617) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?" http://tfl.nu/9xhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2775) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER. http://tfl.nu/iqvs
  Replies (4) Good night (5090) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s
  Replies (15) Good night (1857) Bad night (2571)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience. http://tfl.nu/n6q9
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6
  Replies (10) Good night (1822) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later? http://tfl.nu/nvl3
  Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE http://tfl.nu/i9p4
  Replies (6) Good night (716) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have http://tfl.nu/kcpe
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  That's going to be the title of my memoir.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina. (240): That's going to be the title of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/3hns
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (289)

Randomize