i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying