Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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  (319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj
  Replies (12) Good night (738) Bad night (3450)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4793) Bad night (1137)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (28673) Bad night (2930)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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  (401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r
  Replies (26) Good night (5403) Bad night (1044)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five

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  (403): On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five http://tfl.nu/a3rp
  Replies (4) Good night (2494) Bad night (887)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (2134) Bad night (1040)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

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  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5809) Bad night (981)
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  (805): View more from California

  Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Everything hurts.

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  (805): Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all? (313): Everything hurts. http://tfl.nu/wajp
  Replies (10) Good night (1784) Bad night (591)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha

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  (317): I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha http://tfl.nu/cxju
  Replies (7) Good night (2233) Bad night (550)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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  (508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (512)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit

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  (613): I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit http://tfl.nu/8e9o
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (376)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.

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  (216): If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh. http://tfl.nu/ymc8
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (330)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

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  (807): Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/5cxi
  Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (761)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.

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  (702): We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college. http://tfl.nu/29rl
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (340)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  New vibrator arrived today.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who are these wee mortals we call men?

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  (717): New vibrator arrived today. (1-717): How was it? (717): Who are these wee mortals we call men? http://tfl.nu/0kg2
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (108)

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