he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
