1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.