Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
