woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again