I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize