I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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