i was born a porn star she said
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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