Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
