I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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