I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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