I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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