We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Let's paint friendship bongs
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
