New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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