walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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