after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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