Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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