I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
