so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
