areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
