try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i used baking grease as lip gloss
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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