Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
