I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think people are normalizing furries
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
