You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wakey wakey hands off snakey
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
