dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
