I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
soo... how was my night?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
