how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
