I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
