Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
