ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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