New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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