i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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