Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
