then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
