He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
