Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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