this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
