her vagina looked like bernie madoff
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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