she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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