i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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