the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
