she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
