is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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