I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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