You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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