i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
