Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
