Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
