Whod you bang
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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