what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
