I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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