Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
