It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
