did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i was born a porn star she said
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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