see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
