Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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