When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
