Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
