I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
