Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I had to cum in my sink.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
