they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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