Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
